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2{error}designer bags cyber monday3{error}designer bags cyber monday4{error}designer bags cyber monday5{error}designer bags cyber monday6{error}designer bags cyber monday7a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

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speaking of bridget, she is a true doll. a true, affectionate doll. i'm not sure if i mentioned how she loves to give kisses. sometimes, she spends several minutes just playing and kissing. my mom has concluded that veronica is with her in spirit and sending us kisses through bridget. that is why there are so many. of course, that made total sense to me.

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i will never stop missing veronica, but in the midst of our daily activities when bridget grabs my arm just to kiss it, it sure takes the sting of grief away. i need these moments and i am so grateful for them.

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veronica you have made your mark. every morning i look at your picture and still, after 19 months, it is all so surreal. how does that happen?

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oh veronica how i miss you so. i look at your picture next to simon and bridget's and it all seems so foreign. it seems like a lifetime ago. once upon a time....

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it's 3:00 a.m. on a saturday night, or should i say, sunday morning. i often find myself here on saturday's. at this time, taking it all in, enjoying my solitude.

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oh veronica how i miss you. it's getting harder for me to remember your sweet giggles, or to hear your voice. i look at your pictures and i wonder why there was so little time. i'll never know. i just have to accept.

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{error}designer bags cyber mondayand so, another first for me as this thought had never occurred to me before today.

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cold, dreary, wet, and did i mention cold? not a fun day to be outside today.

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everything's not awesome
(chorus)

everything's not awesome
but that doesn't mean that it's hopeless and bleak
everything's not awesome
but in my heart, i believe (i believe)

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call me wrong, misguided, or faithless, but i never wanted anything for my daughter that went against god. i would give her to him freely knowing i was doing what he would want. so what is so wrong with thinking it is god's will? people say it all the time " see you tomorrow, god willing". it's a phrase we use not really thinking about it.

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luckily, i was not told this in person. it was something i read, and i was disturbed and perturbed. and thus, i am writing about it now.

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oh veronica how i miss you so. i have been working on transferring these blog posts to a word document and re-reading all that i wrote when you were first placed on hospice has left me heavy hearted. i have racoon eyes from all the crying. of course, i've also had my distractions and your little blessings too.

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i knew if we did not get reggie back he would not survive the night. coyotes would surely eat him and if by miracle he was found, i didn't think he would be returned. i was slowly trying to imagine losing him. i screamed. i screamed at simon. what would possess him to let reggie out? as it turns out, the noise i heard at the door was not mitch, but simon. reggie was barking at a deer he had seen outside and simon wanted to let him "get him". in mitch's defense, he did not know what simon was up to because he was busy changing bridget's diaper. 

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i called reggie right away and that sweet puppy ran towards me. i even had to jump in front of mitch's car (he had just left the garage in search of him) to not run over reggie. i was so happy we found him. it could have been an awful night. but god and my veronica heard my prayer, it was an easy one to grant, and so it was. thank you both.

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